Low sex drive? In Menopause? Find out common reasons for the “Sex Dive”
This is a common experience for women going through menopause and women in times of stress. In actually fact this is a BIG issue for many women.
There are a few reasons why a woman may experience this situation.
Before I launch into the myriad of reasons a woman may suffer with low sex drive (aka libido), self esteem issues, dry vagina, atrophied vagina or frail (common in menopause), I would like to discuss the psychological reasons.
There maybe obvious or deeply unconscious reasons why a woman’s sex drive is low or non existent.
For a woman to “feel sexy” a few things have to happen. She needs to be well rested and have some energy. She needs to feel supported and loved. (Although many can disconnect with this part of their being and have a sex drive despite not feeling loved and supported).
She generally needs to feel sexy & attractive and she needs to have her physical self congruent with the other factors.
When this happens, yes, a woman may experience those Hollywood portrayed organismic moments – however for many, these are just a benchmark that is always a little out of reach.
Some questions to ask;
How is the relationship with your partner? Is it fruitful, supportive and makes you feel sexy and alive? Or have you become a cog in a machinery called a “relationship of convenience” or “co parents”?
Are your needs met? Either by yourself or by your partner?
Are you feeling like a woman who is listened to, supported and in a safe place, or do you feel you battle for everything, including having your own opinion heard and respected?
Is there chemistry?
Do you still look at your “chosen one” and have a thrill in your heart or do you look at them and hope they fall asleep before expecting any more of you?
There are wide shades of grey in all relationships and finding the common friendship, sexual attraction and ongoing intimacy is a massive effort and aligning of the stars.
If your relationship is lacking some key elements then you may need to use the “art of being a woman” and either introduce some fun games, re-invent the relationship or go on a holiday (either together or not lol).
Be smart. Make sure your needs are met first and honour yourself as a woman.
There are many hormonal reasons as to why a woman will struggle to have a wonderful pre-climatic experience. These may include low progesterone, low estrogen, even high oestrogen, low testosterone and high cortisol.
In fact the female experience of “feeling horny” is a vastly different one experienced by a man.
The hormone cacophony that is essential to have sex drive include:
- Robust levels of progesterone
- An equilibrium of estrogen
- Enough testosterone to be interested and not be angry (ie not too little and not too much – just right)
To measure your saliva hormones (the more accurate way to measure hormones) click here.
Hormone changes can account for many issues.
Psychological wellbeing may be damaged if your progesterone is low. Or you libido maybe low if your testosterone is low. Or you may struggle to relax if your cortisol is high, or even testosterone high (women find it hard to relax with high testosterone, but often have a higher libido).
Low progesterone or low estrogen may lead to thinness in the perianal area. Including the vagina.
Low progesterone (or interest) can often lead to low vaginal secretions, which will mean the vagina and labia are prone to tearing and hurting. When women experience this once or twice, sex may be seen as displeasurable and something to avoid.
Working on these hormones and energy may help.
Check your hormones here.
Of course a woman needs more than just physical mojo, a person she is interested in and VERY IMPORTANTLY some fuel in the tank.
Energy is a key ingredient to being able to “stay awake” and to thrive in exploring your partner for those moments of intrigue that results in great sex.
If you have had nights of broken sleep, days of attending everyone’s needs other than your own, feel low on energy or are failing to spark, then finding the extra mojo will be an effort and no doubt will results in drying of the region.
Try to go to sleep at a respectful hour – always.
Before electricity we would have been asleep at 8-830pm.
The recipe isn’t broken – we just get lured into other distractors. Question if these sleep delayers actually make you richer emotionally or physically? If not, let them go. Sign off, go to bed early. Have a bath, replenish your body.
Why not wake when your body feels like waking?
Then set this off with some exercise, a healthy eating kick starter and a purpose for the day.
Momentum is important and drifting along doing nothing other than social media isn’t that meaningful. Find something to sink your teeth into and see if your energy pick up.
It is a declaration that you are important and so is your time and energy .
Bringing all these elements together is a knack and gift.
Work out what is letting you down and commit to improving it. You can do this.
If you are curious to see if your hormones are letting you down and if you vitamins and minerals are playing a role click here.
This is my most popular package and includes a saliva hormone test measuring five hormones (cortisol, oestrogen, progesterone, testosterone and DHEA).
The hair test will enable you to work out if you are low in certain minerals, vitamins, key performance indicators that will help you achieve vitality and high energy levels. It even lets you know what foods to avoid.
You can order yours here and start finding out more about your body and how to improve sex drive, vaginal integrity and make sex more fun again.